How a forced kiss sparked a Spanish national drama

Sometimes I’d wish to hear only half of the noise on the topics which are most important to me. The big mouths in politics and media who always seem there, but not speaking the message we need most — in my opinion. Instead we let ourselves be distracted by power games, by the pressure to be morally right and by opportunistic politicians who are using an event to promote their own agenda, the hard way.

In this world it seems you have to have a big mouth, make a lot of noise, and polarise the hell out of everything to be heard. If you don’t play this game you will lose. Nobody will hear you. And you’ll operate in mediocrity at best.

Only those with integrity who have stamina, perseverance, calmness, sharpness, intelligence and a steady (mental) health will make it to be heard by the silent majority amidst the big mouths. Those public figures are the strongest, and the rarest.

I want to write about our crooked world. How we’re slowly losing our sanity, because we seem to make a drama about things the big mouths wants us to. It becomes theatre, and it does the opposite: it makes itself ridiculous, because we have bigger fish to catch.

I’m talking about ‘the kiss’.

#MeToo

Last week Spanish Football Federation Chief, Luis Rubiales, grabbed the head of the Spanish sportswoman, Jenni Hermoso, and kissed her fully on the lips, right after her team won the Women’s World Cup. After all, there was reason to celebrate. How cool these Spanish women won the World Cup, but this ‘kiss’ sparked a fire, a scandal, and became a new MeToo story everyone speaks about, overshadowing the fact the Spanish female team won the world title.

Big scandal

Hermoso first said she didn’t like the kiss, later she said all was okay between her and Rubiales and again later she said the kiss was ‘without consent’ and she felt violated. It was a very spontaneous kiss as we could see, and yes, far too intimate (no doubt). All female players refuse now to play until Rubiales resigns. He’s already suspended. Spanish politicians, even the prime-minister, Pedro Sanchez, disapproved the behaviour of Rubiales. Yolanda Diaz, deputy prime-minister even called for his resignation. The unwanted kiss has led to a big scandal in Spain.

The Spanish football federation chief’s behaviour isn’t in accordance with ‘norms and values’, so also the big FIFA suspended him.

The same FIFA that holds soccer games in megarich countries like Qatar where women’s rights are curtailed as women need male guardianship to be able to marry, study, etc. So a woman can’t make her own decisions. She is ‘incapable’. So when money is involved FIFA apparently doesn’t give a damn about ‘norms and values’.

‘It’s over!’

Monday evening a protest of Feminismos Madrid in support of Hermoso took place in Madrid. Hundreds of Spaniards gathered. Screaming ‘Se Acabó!’ It’s Over! They want Rubiales gone. The hashtag #SeAcabó is widely seen on Twitter and in the real world. Male football players from Sevilla wore t-shirts with #SeAcabó last weekend in support of their colleague Jenni Hermoso.

The minister of Labour, and deputy prime-minister of Spain, Yolanda Diaz, said on Twitter she would join the protest. Also minister of Equality, Irene Montero, who just a few days after the kiss, posted a video on social media in which she spoke about physical actions without consent (solo sí es sí: only yes is yes) which is sexual violence. Montero is known for her unstoppable work to make Spain a feminist country.

Hunger strike in church

In the meantime this kiss has become a true Spanish drama as the mother of Rubiales locked herself up in a church in the Southern village Motril and went on hunger strike as she said her son is innocent and victim of an inhumane hunt to bring him down. She won’t stop until her son’s reputation is cleared.

Sexual violence?

Of course, it’s already too late. The man’s career is ruined, the man’s reputation is damaged. He can pack his bags and leave. While feminists and supporters of Hermoso are shouting the man needs to resign, he already lost. Whatever he will do or how they will judge him, he already lost. And Hermoso feels violated. Is the unwanted kiss an act of sexual aggression or violence towards her? That’s the question. Rubiales might face criminal charges and go to jail.

The right words

While this is happening and the media can’t stop writing about it, politicians need to say the right words about it and public figures are under pressure to choose the right side, parts of Spain are burning, Spanish soil is dying, the water level is declining drastically, immigrants are drowning in the Med, and millions of farm animals and fish are suffering and slaughtered in Spain each day in a hellish industry, because the people want to eat meat and fish.

Apparently, the country isn’t that progressive and evolved yet when it comes to the 18.000 events in Spain where animals, mainly bulls, are tortured (and killed) for human entertainment: the bloodfiestas. Torture and sadism in name of culture and tradition.

Damaging

Don’t be fooled. We are being distracted and pulled towards agendas which aren’t ours. At least not mine. Not this way! I find women’s rights important, the equality between men and women essential in a modern society, but this becomes a dirty, emotional game. It’s getting out of control as calm and reason seem to be completely lost. And I suspect some politicians abuse this damn kiss to push their agendas even further until we’ll have enough.

They, including the feminists at the protest, don’t realise the women’s cause is damaged this way. It’s a vulgar trial by media and feminist Spain is guilty in facilitating this. The women’s cause, the important fight against Spanish macho culture and sexism, is losing its credibility by stoking the fire.

Yes, this whole soccer world is corrupt and sexist to the bone, but to point all fingers at that single man who went too far with this ‘kiss’, but who must hang now because of it, isn’t the right fight. Only this woman, Hermoso, only this man, Rubiales, need to speak. All the rest, shut up and listen.

Hypocrisy

The same feminists, who are fighting for equal rights between men and women, are welcoming transwomen to women’s sports games. They don’t seem to realise they’re helping women losing their place in sports. Are these feminists really oblivious of their own hypocrisy?

Speaking of hypocrisy, did you hear the latest news of the United Nations?

The terrorist regime of Iran will chair the UN Human Rights Council Social Forum. How is it possible if you think of all the women and men, children even, who are being imprisoned and killed by their own leaders because they stand up for women’s rights and civil liberties in their country? UN show their meaningless face. The men, women and children in Iran are being betrayed by this designation.

The same UN (The High Commissioner for Human Rights) which now too interfere in this national drama.

The unwanted kiss has become a scene from a Pedro Almodóvar movie, I read somewhere on Twitter. Alienation, provocation, Spanish drama, emotion. Usually I’m all in for that, but now I start to become nauseous and want to spit it all out.

Countries are burning and flooding. People are losing their homes, animals their habitat. There’s a bloody war going on in Ukraine that could escalate into a nuclear disaster. But we hardly pay attention to all this. I reckon that’s one of the biggest tragedies of our time.

Image: Maria Luiza Melo/Pexels

 

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